Grab Life by the Horns, Then Die

Pill

Do you lack energy?

Are you feeling depressed?

Have you lost your zest for life?

You might want to ask your doctor about Produatol, new from Trimortis.

With Produatol, you’ll be back on your feet in no time, ready to take life by the reins. You’ll rediscover your passions, ignite that fire within, re-engage with old friends and even fan the flames of your long-lost love life.

You’ll be the old you—or an even better you if the old you just wasn’t good enough.

Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE for a free sample, or consult with your physician to find out if Produatol is right for you.

The most common side effects of Produatol include dry mouth, headaches, dizziness, blurred vision and occasional incontinence.

Additional symptoms could include bloody nose, genital warts, conjunctivitis, dyspepsia, facial spasms and involuntary flatulence. Patients using Produatol also have experienced heart murmurs, bulimia, anorexia, dementia, carpal tunnel and epilepsy. On rare occasions, Produatol has been determined to cause tapeworms, elephantitis, gangrene, sterility, infantilism and mild bouts of leprosy. One in seven lab rats exposed to minor doses of Produatol have been reduced to small piles of anthrax. The other six simply bled to death. Additional repercussions have been omitted from this list due to their graphic and disturbing nature.

So if you’re ready to break out of your doldrums and tackle life head on, try Produatol for 30 days. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.